Dear Friends,
PLEASE READ! I AM LEAVING FACEBOOK TOMORROW. Plus a few of you may not want to be my friend after reading this, but I will return to that.
I never thought I would leave Facebook, cause frankly I love the platform, but I hate it as well. That love is a part of the problem though, as I have become dependent upon it, and as I often measure my own self-worth on it. While I love sharing my vagabond life, my pictures from all over the world, my achievements, my political thoughts, funny memes, and have tried to inform you all to a different perspective, it also comes at a cost. Because I feed off every like, every love, every comment, every argument. I feel like it has become how I see myself. Not to mention many of the very unhealthy habits that help feed my depression
At the same time, I don’t like who I am anymore. I do not love myself. In fact, many days I hate myself. I feel like every aspect of my life is shit right now. My mind, my body, my soul, my spirit, everything, I want to throw it all away. I am constantly depressed and constantly find myself crying over it all. The world is on fucking fire and because I’m depressed, I’m lying in bed scrolling through Facebook, posting things that I hope you all will like or love, to give me that boost of endorphins, to make me feel loved, it’s all bullshit. Well I’ll never love myself that way. Hopefully this time away from Facebook will help me to find myself. And please, don’t take this as I want to be a hermit, because I don’t, I want to connect with most of you outside of this platform (I will post contact information below). But I can’t be here, it is toxic for me mentally and emotionally. So needless to say I have developed many very unhealthy habits that help feed my depression, anxiety, and self-esteem issues.
And this brings me to the burning bridges portion of this letter… The toxicity of Facebook has reached a tipping point for me. Especially around politics, because all it does is make me want to come find people and shake the shit out of them. If you plan to vote for Trump, you are at best a selfish bastard, at worst a racist, selfish, idiot. Turn off Fox news, stop reading memes and stories from your buddy who graduated from “the school of Hard Knox,” and find better sources. If it is not peer-reviewed, or unless it comes from actual journalism, which means people who are on the ground actually reporting things they are seeing and interviewing people who witnessed these events, then it is likely propaganda or punditry. QAnon is conspiracy theory garbage that is rotting your fucking brain and making you hate people. Also, it’s ok to be wrong, I’m wrong all the fucking time, stop digging in your heals like stubborn asses and listen for a fucking change. But this also goes for you run of the mill Democrats who are excited about Biden and think things will be fine and fucking dandy and you can go back to your brunch’s once Biden is in office. Stop fucking fooling yourself, cause if you don’t plan to be in the streets or critiquing Biden if he gets in office, then I think you are just as big of a shitbird as the Trumpers… Is Trump magnitudes worse than Biden, of fucking course. My shits are better than Trump, it’s not something to be proud of. But it was Biden and the Dems management that created the conditions of possibility for Trump. If you don’t like anything I said there, well bye… But if I friended you, it was for a reason, I don’t want to believe that you are an ignorant, sexist, homophobic, racist, so don’t be. Have a bit of humility and learn to take accountability for your actions and the things you say, and again, be open to being wrong. And for god’s sake, please be more reflective. AND READ A FUCKING BOOK, especially ones that teach you about new people, cultures, perspectives!
Know that I love so many of you. Many of you give me hope. I do come to Facebook and am often inspired by the wonderful things you all are doing. I love the things you share, your photos, your travels, your families. These things give me hope. These things often inform me, teach me, and make me want to be a better person. So when and if I come back I hope to see so many of those amazing things. But, again, please feel free to share these with me outside of Facebook. Even if we haven’t talked in a long time, I would love to hear from you. I am saddened to think that this may be the last time I communicate with some of you. But I guess that is how life is, people come and people go, and hopefully you can hold on to the best of them. I really hope that some of you consider me one of the best… but here I go with my pity party, seeking attention and love… Regardless, I will still be on Instagram and Twitter, unless I find myself getting into bad habits on there as well. How long will I be away, I can’t say, maybe I cave to my addiction after a week, or a month, a year, maybe never. We will see. Facebook is great for organizing, so perhaps I will be back in a few months for that. There’s so much more I want to say, but I’m tired, mentally, emotionally, and physically. Hopefully this time away will be productive for me, recharging, and I can learn to love myself.
If anyone sees a job for me, let me know, I’m still fucking looking for something.
Anyways, much love! I will miss you.
